Hangry drunk: Passed out in the drive-through lane of an eatery in the 3800 block of Northlake Boulevard, a motorist was so startled when an employee woke him up that he hit the gas and ran over several bushes and a curb. Found driving around in the same shopping center, he was pulled over by police. The store said they would prosecute if the perpetrator is captured. The manager was able to get the tag number and give it to police, along with surveillance video of the entire event. Police contacted the registered owner of the car who said she was in the hospital and had no idea who could be driving her car. Once outside he loaded the nearly $100 worth of merchandise into a car and drove away. The man claimed he’d already checked out, pushed the cart out of the store and officially transitioning from shopper to thief. Seeing his cart full of paper products and garbage bags, the clerk asked if she could ring up his items for him. There he asked the clerk for a winning lottery ticket before waiting to use the automated lottery machine. Filling the cart with several packages of paper towels, toilet paper and garbage bags, he headed over to the customer service area. Paper product pilferer: Entering a store in the 10900 block of North Military Trail, a man selected a cart and began his shopping/stealing adventure. His breath later showed he was well over the legal limit. At one point he said “I definitely had alcohol to drink.” He then added that he’d started drinking approximately nine hours earlier and stated that he had originally intended to leave his parents’ at “like 8 in the afternoon.” Asked to participate in a roadside sobriety test, the man kept the good quotes going saying “I’d rather not be in my vehicle right now” and then added “I’d rather have you drive me.” After a bit more explaining the man finally understood what was being asked of him and agreed to participate. He had even more trouble telling police how much he’d had to drink. ![]() Through slurred and mumbling speech, he said he’d left his house and was going home. Asked to clarify, he repeated that he was coming from his house and going home. After arguing with police, he finally made some sense and explained he had left his parents’ home and was going to his residence. Unsteady upon exiting, the man swayed while standing and was immediately apologetic. ![]() Police awakened the driver by tapping on the window and asked him to step out of the vehicle. Sleepy, dopey, drunk: Sitting through multiple light cycles at the intersection of Hood Road and Central Boulevard, a motorist was discovered passed out in his vehicle.
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